by: Jaclyn Rink, MSCP, LLP
What is the first thing you think about when you wake up in the morning? I know that my first thought is usually not about something I am grateful for (much less, even a positive one). It can be difficult with our busy lives, stressful jobs, or ever-changing state of the world to turn our mind towards being grateful. As humans, we are wired to see the negative, (it’s your brain’s way of protecting you) and negativity has a sneaky tendency to become habitual or automatic. Having a grateful mindset takes effort; it is the purposeful act of paying attention to the things in your life that bring you joy on a daily, small-scale basis. It's easy to practice gratitude during times of celebration but becomes more difficult during the same old Tuesday work meeting, or that weekly mandatory dinner with your in-laws. If you don't spend time looking for the positive, I assure you, you won't find it.
Gratitude, just like negativity, becomes contagious. Studies have shown us that when we practice gratitude regularly, we generally present with a happier outlook on life, increased motivation, and experience less depression, anxiety and stress. I encourage you to experiment with this practice and take a few short moments every day to practice one of the tips below. The more you practice, the easier it will become, as your mind will naturally start to turn toward gratitude. Trust me, you (and your brain) will like it better than the alternative.
Here are some ways to make gratitude a part of your every day life:
1. Keep a daily gratitude journal: Make a habit of identifying 3 things that you are grateful for and writing them down each morning or before bed. This practice encourages us to seek gratitude throughout the day in the smallest of things (the smell of our coffee, the hug of a loved one, an inside joke with a coworker). Every so often, flip back to earlier pages to remind yourself of all you have to be grateful for.
2. Compare yourself: Generally, comparing ourselves to others sends us into negative and distorted thinking patterns, but there is a way to use comparisons in a helpful way. Remember a previous time of struggle that you navigated or just think about your past self. Reflect on how far you've come, grown, and what you have learned through the tough times. Recognizing the contrast of the “then” and “now” helps us to focus on and feel gratitude more intensely.
3. Share it with others: When we talk about gratitude with others or tell someone we are thankful for them, it increases our own sense of gratitude, improves both people's moods, and strengthens our relationship. I encouraged you each day to pick one person that you send a short, but meaningful “thank you” text to. Example: “Thank you for always being there for me.” “I am thankful for how you always encourage me to be myself.”
4. Pick one interaction a day: When your instinct to say "Thank you" arises, pause to notice the moment. What has just transpired? Can you name what you are thankful for beyond the gesture that's being extended? Be specific. "My friend just did a favor for me, and I am so grateful that she is always there when I need her most."
5. 2 questions: Take a mindful moment to reflect on your relationships with your coworkers, friends, children, partner, etc. and ask yourself the following questions, "What have I received from ___? and "What have I given to ____?
6. Fake it till you make it: Sometimes we struggle with receiving compliments, letting go of grudges, or feeling like we have anything to be thankful for. In these difficult moments, say "Thank you" anyways, even if you don't feel it wholeheartedly. The more you practice being grateful, the easier gratitude will be triggered in the future. The more you tell yourself something, the more you will seek out ways to believe in it and accept it.
