By: Emily Brzak, LLP
I’d take a guess that the past few school years (pre-pandemic, pandemic, and post-pandemic) would be some that both students and parents would like to forget. Maybe you managed to get out unscathed, and if so, please let us know how you did it! For the families I most often engage with, this year was scattered with unpredictability and unexpected changes, limit-enforcement, frequent arguments surrounding getting virtual schoolwork done, and too many personalities stuck under one roof for long periods of time.
Ready for the good news? All school years come to an end. Goodbye asynchronous learning, helloooo summer! The stress (hopefully) has lessened, we’re able to be out of the house more, and there are no more schoolwork deadlines to battle about. I would not be surprised if this summer has been booked with vacations, social meetups and getting back to generally “normal” life as quickly as possible, but I would urge you to make it a top priority to take some time to intentionally nurture relationships with your kids, whether or not these relationships were strained by the challenging demands of the pandemic. Below are some great summer bonding tips to get you started.
1. Take a break from the planned and structured activities. Although structure and routine are important for kids (even during the summer), giving your child free time to explore their environment and engage in unstructured activity can feel very rewarding for them, especially if you are involved. This can look like going outside and exploring, giving your child miscellaneous objects and seeing what they do with them, or going to a less familiar destination and allowing them to investigate their surroundings. Your job as a parent is to let your child lead. Let them decide where they’d like to explore or what they’d like to play with.
2. Embrace screen time with your child. Don’t get me wrong; it is very important to have guidelines and limits of screen time. However, we can’t avoid the fact that technology is a huge factor of all our lives, and especially for older children and teens, screens can be a huge social connector during the summer when they don’t necessarily see their friends every day. It’s not unusual for me to hear of parents and children often arguing about handing over phones or turning off the video games. What is more unusual for me to hear is about parents who sit down and engage in interactive screen time with their children. If your child loves to play video games, ask if you can play with them! If your teen loves to scroll through social media, ask if you can scroll with them and laugh at the silly memes and TikTok’s you may encounter. I recommend allowing your teen to take on the “expert” role; ask them to teach you about the current trends.
3. Get creative with finding bonding time. For older kids and teenagers, they are at the developmental level where much of their free time will be centered around engaging with friends. As parents, try not to take the disinterest in spending time with you personally, but still work hard to find one-on-one time. Propose a weekly breakfast outing or try to spark conversation with them when driving in the car.
At McCaskill Family Services, we work with families of all shapes and sizes. If you would like additional assistance with family bonding, effective behavioral management strategies and fostering positive daily interactions, please reach out to our office to schedule an appointment
