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Healthy Boundaries for Technology


By: Jaclyn Rink, MSCP, LLP

Social media and technology are powerful constructs of our daily lives. They shape the way we see the world around us, how we relate to others, and how we feel about ourselves. It seems appropriate that if we are exposed to the same thing, every single day, over and over, we would want to make sure it's something that’s beneficial to us.

As a practicing clinician who works mostly with teens, I see the significant impact social media and technology have on their world. One reason teens often struggle with insecurity is because they frequently compare their real lives to the selective moments that others share on social media. Not to mention, this content is often intentionally filtered and edited, resulting in a very misleading message. Believe it or not, people can even pay for “likes” to look more popular! Add in the ever-growing A.I. industry, uncertified professionals giving health tips, appearance-altering apps, and unfiltered videos, and you have access to an entire alternate world where validity should be questioned, but usually isn’t.

Additionally, we know that technology usage spikes our brain’s dopamine levels. If we use technology regularly, we end up raising the brain’s natural dopamine baseline, causing us to seek out more and more social media content/technology time to produce the same amount of this “feel good hormone” that exists in the reward center of our brain. This can be a reason why it’s challenging to transition off social media or video games, and many people will describe themselves or their kids as being “addicted” to their phones.

Although it sounds like there are a lot of negatives to it, social media has a lot to offer! Personally, I find oodles of inspiration and motivation from my scrolling, and it’s a frequent way that I communicate with my friends during busy days. The catch is: How many hours do you spend online watching other people, saying to yourself "I want to do that!" instead of getting out there and actually doing that?! The secret to social media is to spend more time experiencing your own life, rather than watching others live theirs. Re-read that.

Active participation in your own life leads to less depression, less anxiety, more joy, and more fulfillment. It’s also important to remember that just because you didn't post it, doesn't mean it didn't happen. Being mindful in the moment to truly enjoy your experience is much more rewarding than creating the perfect picture to post for others. Your life is for you…No posting, no liking, just living.

Just like with anything, technology needs to be consumed in moderation. Here are some suggestions for healthy social media and technology boundaries:

Set a screen-time limit for yourself: This can usually be found under your “settings” in the category of “screen time.” Your phone will automatically track how long you’ve been on each app, and time out when you reach your limit. You then have the choice to accept the limit, ignore it, or remind yourself again in 15 minutes. Although this is not a fool proof system, it can be helpful in increasing mindfulness of your usage. The American Academy of Pediatrics suggests 1 hour of screen time per day for kids ages 2-12 (excluding homework) and 2 hours for teens-adults.

Limit screens to 1 hour before bed: You’ve heard this one before! Do your best to put away screens for at least 1 hour before bed. The continuous rush of dopamine keeps your brain alert, and the blue light your phone emits suppresses melatonin production (a vital sleep hormone). Try having a cup of tea, reading a book, doing a guided meditation, coloring, or journaling instead to wind down.

Wait 1 hour after waking to use your phone: Many people use their phones immediately upon waking. However, this abruptly shifts our brain into a heightened state of alertness, disrupting the natural progression of our sleep-wake cycle. This overloads our brain with stimulating content, leaving us feeling scattered or stressed soon after waking, and further priming us for brain fog and increased distraction throughout the day. Consider using a traditional alarm, seeking sunlight before screens, and building a strong morning routine to help ditch this habit.

Meeting with someone IRL? Put your phone away and practice mindfulness: “IRL” stands for “In real life.” If you are meeting up with a friend, loved one, or engaging in a fun activity, your phone need not be a part of the equation. When our attention is divided (e.g., responding to your friend group chat when you are having dinner with your grandmother), we lose focus on the irreplaceable moment that’s right in front of us. Being fully present when we are around others enhances our happiness and reduces stress and anxiety. Human beings require connection, and although many of us do this via technology, there is no substitute for face-to-face, one-on-one time with the people we love, IRL. Mindfulness takes practice, so help yourself out by turning off notifications, leaving your phone in your bag, or letting others know you are busy and will get back to them later. Check out our MFS blog archives or virtual learning labs for support on how to enhance your mindfulness skills! Click here!

Create Tech-Free Times/Zones in Your Home: We use technology all the time, so carving out specific times and places that you WON’T use it, can help to create healthier routines for you and your family. Some ideas might include: No technology during meals or at the kitchen table, no technology while in bed, none during your busiest work hour of the day, none at your child’s desk, none immediately after school, etc. You can also consider using the “Focus” setting on your phone, to help silence alerts and notifications during specific parts of your day.

Taking a break? Try an alternative: A lot of us will reach for our phones when we take a break during work, studying, etc. As mentioned above, tuning in causes a big rush of dopamine to our brains, making it far more challenging to transition back to the task at hand. The key to taking an effective brain break is to engage in a task for 5-10 minutes max that isn’t super engaging or exciting for you. Breaks that don’t include your phone and involve movement or exercise will support you in successfully transitioning back to your task in the allotted amount of time (helping with time management and task completion). Try going for a brief walk, stretching, having a snack, doing a chore such as making your bed or creating the grocery list, petting your furry friend, or briefly checking in with someone else in your home. Your brain will feel far more refreshed this way and more willing to get back on track.

• Delete your apps. Still feeling tempted or getting caught up in mindless scrolling? One of the main problems with social media is that it is right at our fingertips! Making technology less accessible may prove to be helpful in minimizing usage. Try removing the apps from your phone, making them only accessible via your laptop, i-pad etc. Putting a few moments of space in between the thought/urge to hop online and the action, may help change your decision and engage in a replacement behavior instead (e.g., a healthier coping mechanism or activity).

At the most extreme, try taking a few days off from social media if you feel like you're getting too caught up in it. Studies have shown that breaking away for as little as 7 days can boost happiness and reduce feelings of loneliness and anger. Additionally, I created a Social Media Checklist to help consumers clean up the content of their social media platforms and support a more balanced view of the content we take in. Making some small changes can encourage healthier and happier social media consumption. Yum! Visit the link to this blog post and checklist here: